How did it all start?

As with most forms of abuse it didn’t start that way. However I think that my approach to the relationship laid me open to abuse. To be honest I felt quite needy. I wanted a deep relationship with a girl (I was only 21 and she was only 17). We met and I felt instantly attracted to her and the feeling was I think mutual. However very early on in the relationship there were perhaps some warning signs. The problem with warning signs are first that we often tend to ignore them and secondly that they are not very reliable indicators of what will and will not turn out well/badly. Nonetheless for me there were a few warning signs:

1. The relationship moved on very quickly – on reflection far too quickly – going out, sex, living together, engagement
2. I was very scared of the relationship breaking up – looking back now the key thing that allowed things to go wrong and continue to do so
3. Very early on she told me of the years of abuse she had suffered from her parents – more about this in a later post
4. Very early on she was very possessive of me
5. Very early on she insisted on secretiveness where others were concerned
6. I didn’t have the knowledge/support of my parents

I intend to address these issue in  more details in the next few weeks with other posts.